


None Too Virtuous

by TessaSpencer2012



Category: Sea Patrol
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-21
Updated: 2012-09-21
Packaged: 2017-11-14 17:16:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/517633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TessaSpencer2012/pseuds/TessaSpencer2012
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the wake of Ryan's paternity disclosure, Kate realises that the latest bomb to her relationship with Mike just might be what finally sinks it.  Post-Ep to 5x10.</p>
            </blockquote>





	None Too Virtuous

As the retreating form of Commander Mike Flynn made record time across the deck, Kate wondered what the hell had just happened.

Never before had a shore leave been so eventful, or so completely like something out of the twilight zone that she had to stop and nearly pinch herself. If today was any indication, she wouldn't bet that things couldn't get weirder.

"Some days are diamonds, eh?" Mike once said, and though at the time Kate felt that truer words had never been spoken, there was no doubt that this one took the prize.

It was taking some effort to digest what she'd just been told; Mike Flynn – mighty commander of the HMAS Hammersley and as loyal as they came – fathered a child with his best mate's wife. The presumably unexpected result of their affair was a child who, until this day, had been serving on their very boat.

Sometimes she wished that she had never left the frigates; stuff like this didn't happen there, or if it did, she was never privy to it. That was the problem with patrol boats, as far as she could tell: they were small and intimate (sometimes too intimate) and everyone knew everything about everyone. Discretion, though helpful, meant very little. It would take all of about two minutes for the news to spread among the crew of Ryan's parentage and when it did, there would be very little to quiet it.

Still, for the most part, the time she'd spent on the Hammersley had been the best of her navy career, forgiving a few rough seas that would more likely be attributed to being under the command of her former lover.

Today though was testing the patience of even 'Princess Perfect' – there was no forgiving the way Mike had been short with the crew, secretive even, and finally how he just dropped the bombshell on her. He was Ryan's father.

The more repulsive thought attached to that realisation however was that Maxine White, the very woman who had on numerous occasions advised Kate that Mike's devotion would always be foremost to the sea, had actually slept with him – and created a new life of it. The mere idea of Maxine and Mike made her feel not only disgusted but infuriated.

Kate wasn't sure what propelled her forward, or how it inspired her to move so quickly, but with very little concern for how it appeared or who saw her, she made her way below deck and toward the captain's cabin. Maybe he could leave it so simply, but she couldn't.

As she rounded the corner toward his open door, it took her by surprise that Mike hadn't closed it. Considering what he'd said to her only minutes before, she would have assumed Mike to be in the same foul mood he'd been in all day. Certainly, his first defense would be to close the door.

Still, taking the opportunity that presented itself, she made a small knocking gesture on the frame of the door and then gathered her courage. "You just walk away? You say something like that and you just walk away?" Kate asked. She startled him, she could tell, because Mike swiveled in his chair still shaken from her appearance at his cabin doorway.

"This is a conversation that should be had off the boat," Mike said, glancing at the corridor through his open cabin door. A momentary reprieve, though brief, would give him time to gather his senses.

"No," Kate replied, with nary a moment's thought. "Not this time. Those conversations we have off the boat never seem to be finished. This time we're finishing it. You have a SON, Mike," she pointed out, unwilling to mince words. "You have a son with Commander White – Knocker – and you just tell me and walk away? Surely I deserve a little more consideration than that!"

Gesturing her into his cabin, not quite willing to have the entire ship – or whoever was left at least – hear their discussion, Mike groaned. As she made her entrance further into the small space, Mike reached to close the door. It hardly provided much in the way of privacy but at least a closed door posed some form of a barrier from prying eyes and nosey seamen. "Ryan is my son, but this is new information for me as much as it is for you," he pointed out.

"So you never once thought it was a possibility that you might have knocked up the Knocker?" Kate said smartly, still stinging from the coolness with which he was addressing her. How could he be so removed from the situation? From HER? They did have a thing, sort of, even if it was once again preempted by his command of the Hammersley.

"Kate," he said, with a mixture of annoyance and frustration, "if we're going to discuss this, might we do so like adults?"

He may as well have slapped her. "Certainly, Sir. I do hope you've considered the reaction of the crew when you tell them. Perhaps you'll find a way to do so that's more appropriate than just slapping them with it, Sir."

Shaking his head, he groaned. "Whenever we try to have a talk that isn't about the ship, you automatically put up all these defenses Kate. If you want to talk, perhaps you should be willing to listen too, don't you think?"

Without a word, she offered a silent nod of encouragement; she came to his cabin to talk this over but it wouldn't do much good to just shout at him – no matter how good it might feel.

"Stuart and Maxine were never what you might call the perfect couple. They fought, they made up, they fought…It was trying to be their friend when a couple times a week I'd get a call from one of them complaining about the other." Mike ran his hand through his hair and glanced up at Kate. Her body, though still rigid, was now leaning against the wall of the cabin and her eyes were trained on him. "One night they had a row and Maxine showed up at my door. She said it was over, and she said she was tired of it all… One thing led to another and…"

She shook her head in disapproval. "That's all it takes, hmm? One fight in a series of fights and you took that as the go-ahead?"

"Watch it," Mike warned, unimpressed by her scolding tone. "Kate, you weren't there – you can't tell me that you've…"

"Don't try that with me, Mike Flynn – you are none too virtuous! You try to tell me that things are how they are because of a mistake, and yet you don't seem all that regretful," Kate said, her eyes narrowing. If anyone were to see them, they would know she was spoiling for a fight but the knowledge that he was Ryan's father had reverberated through her like a first-round knockout. "Our 'thing' at Watsons Bay may not have been ethical on a professional level, but at least neither of us were married!"

Perhaps he should have hidden his frustration more thoroughly because as he released a scoff, he noticed her cringe. "It's always black and white for you Kate – you've never changed. You think that things are right or wrong, and nothing else could ever exist or change your mind," Mike countered. He'd seen her like this before, though it never meant anything good for him. Kate McGregor was a force to be reckoned with, and though his logical mind told him he owed her no explanations, his heart knew better.

Sighing, she fought the urge to slap him. If she did, not only would the conversation be ended prematurely but he would also win by default – something Kate was not willing to allow. "Pardon me for thinking that screwing your best mate's wife, regardless of circumstance, is considered inappropriate. I also would have thought that, throughout the many conversations we've had about the appropriateness of a potential relationship between us, you might have mentioned this little indiscretion…"

"Because you've told me every relationship you've had – every sexual relationship you've ever had – before Watsons Bay, after and since …"

"Don't," she said coolly. "Don't pretend like Maxine White was just someone you happened to sleep with once upon a time – she's in our lives still, Mike – she's in our lives every day. That someone you had a relationship with, no matter how briefly, is still so much a part of your life is something that I had a right to know," Kate countered.

Running his hand through his hair, Mike nodded. "You're right – I know that I should have told you sooner, but honestly, it was so long ago… I'm not proud of it, Kate – I was never proud of it. When Maxine became pregnant with Ryan, I was just so happy that she and Stuart seemed to be okay again – that they were finally able to put their differences behind them. I should have known that it was too much to hope a baby could keep them together."

"And you never thought he might be your son?" Kate asked, wondering where the line was in this particular conversation. Mike was notorious for shutting down conversations when he'd had enough, and in this case, she couldn't quite discern where that might be.

"I'd thought about it – I did… But Maxine never mentioned it, and I never mentioned it. I can't imagine what would have happened had it come out sooner…"

"You would have done the right thing," Kate said, resigned to the new reality where she and Mike had one more thing to come between them – he had a son now. The idea alone was enough to make her head spin.

"Maybe," Mike said in half-hearted agreement. Had he known 19 years ago what he knew now, he probably would have done the right thing, though for whom it would have been right would be questionable.

Kate ducked her head in quiet defeat. "You and Commander White have a lot to discuss," she said seriously. "I appreciate your honesty – I know that you don't owe me an explanation…"

"What?" Mike watched as Kate moved toward the door. "What are you saying?"

It was now or never, and if she didn't say it while she felt she'd mustered the courage, she never would. "Maxine and Ryan are going to want your full attention – they deserve your full attention. You three have a lot of lost time to make up for." They were the hardest sentences she'd ever had to say.

"No," Mike said firmly. Just as easily as his world was turned upside down by the admission that Ryan was his son, Mike could see it being turned over again. "It's not either you or Maxine, Kate – it's never been you or Maxine…"

"With all due respect, I think it's always been – somewhere in your heart. You never left her," Kate said, her resolve beginning to crumble. These were the sorts of conversations nobody liked to have, but to have them in such close quarters only heightened the tension.

"Maxine had nothing to do with why I left at Watsons Bay and you should damn well know that," Mike said, finally standing to pace, though there was hardly enough room to do so.

Shoving her hands in her pockets to refrain from fidgeting, Kate nodded. "Good then, tell me what I should know Mike, because right now all I know is that another woman has with you what you've basically told me I'll never have… So tell me what I should know Mike Flynn and make it fast. I never intended to spend this much time on something that is so clearly over."

"It's over," he repeated, though it was hardly a question as much as a quiet resignation. "You're saying that because of this – because of someone I slept with 19 years ago – I can't have what I want now?"

Shaking her head in disbelief, Kate groaned. "I'm saying that because of 19 years ago, seven years ago, two years ago and right now, I can't afford to delude myself into thinking that you know what you want now. But I know what I want, and I don't think you can give that to me."

"Which is?" Mike asked, though there was very little question in his mind that he already knew.

"Everything." And nothing – she thought. Everything she ever wanted, and nothing to ever interfere again.

"Do you have any idea why I left? Do you?" he asked, his voice rising to the point of no longer seeking discretion. When Kate didn't reply, Mike merely smiled. "There's this time in a man's life when he realises that there's a fork in the road. He can continue down the path he's on, or he can venture off and follow a new direction. When I met you, before we knew you were in my class – hell, before I even knew you were in the navy - I started to ponder the new direction that lay ahead. I'd spent my life married to the sea, and at that moment when we met, I wondered what life would be like otherwise. With you."

Kate felt her heart skip a beat at the mere notion that he thought like this. For so many years, she'd assumed that Mike was a player – that his pirate behaviour on ship was reflected in his personal life. As she got to know him, his fierce loyalty became more evident, and equally her confusion over their former relationship grew.

"When we realised that you were in my class, everything changed… not how I felt, but the reality of it. I had fantasised about how life could be coming home on shore leave to see someone – to be with someone – and then I realized that couldn't happen. You were married to sea just as much as I was. How do you ask someone to leave the love of their life for a crapshoot? We didn't even have a week together, and no matter how great that was, how could I expect either of us to make a sacrifice for it?"

"It didn't have to be all or nothing," Kate said quietly.

"We were based out of two different cities, we had two different types of schedules and rotations… Even if we tried for something it would have been nothing," Mike replied, moving closer and closing the distance between them. Her posture had relaxed just a bit, and for the first time during this conversation Kate seemed more frail than fiery. "Katie, how could I ask you to do something I couldn't do at the time?"

The moment the endearment left his mouth, Kate felt a torrent of emotions wash over her. He hadn't called her that since Watsons Bay. "And now?"

"And now what?"

"And now that you've got a son whose mother is single – a woman who clearly still cares for you – and you have your dream job, and a young man you have to get to know… Now that so much has changed, and so much is still the same, what happens now?" she asked, allowing her eyes to skim over the bruised flesh where Stuart White punched him just a couple of nights before. It took all of her willpower to refrain from brushing her fingers over the discolored skin. He was too familiar to her now – they had too many moments and too many experiences to just maintain the status quo.

Neither could have said who did it, but somehow they were closer still, barely leaving an arm's length of distance between them. "I would like to think, given the situation, that we might consider discussing this somewhere else – where we can talk properly and discuss what we both want," he said in a near whisper.

"You know what I want," Kate replied just as softly. She didn't dare move for fear of finding her senses completely overwhelmed. For all the talking they'd done in the five years they worked together, not once had they said as much as they just had. "But that doesn't matter right now." It was true. No matter what she wanted – and no matter how badly she wanted it – Mike had enough other things to contend with, and she had to wrap her mind around the recent turn of events.

"Kate," Mike said, extending his hand to gently brush over her shoulder. When she flinched at the contact, he nodded in resignation. "I didn't mean for this to happen this way – I didn't mean for it to happen at all."

The tender look of sadness in his eyes told her that he was being honest. Mike Flynn would never have set out with the intention of things turning out like this. With a nod, she forced a small smile. "Congratulations are in order, Sir," she said, doing her best to let him know that things needed to be professional from this point forward.

"Thank you," he replied, but a sinking feeling in his stomach told him this was only the beginning. As Kate brushed past him toward the door, he resisted the urge to grab her arm - to beg her to stay. Something told him that if she walked away this time, it was unlikely Kate was coming back. But now wasn't the time or the place for such personal admissions - he wanted to tell her that if nothing else, he was even more certain that he wanted her in his life. Life changed too quickly and he was sick of having regrets.

Commanding Officers weren't supposed to have those sorts of conversations with their Executive Officers and he was reluctant to believe she'd listen. He'd hurt her enough for one day.

When the door closed behind her leaving Mike alone in his empty cabin, he wondered what series of events this was about to set in motion. As he sat back in his seat, the entire world seemed off kilter and for the first time since Watsons Bay, all he could think of was how badly he'd stuffed things up.


End file.
